You...

I can’t take this anymore. I can’t just sit here and think about you every day. I want to see you now. But how? I wish I could drive already. Distance is a bitch. I wish I could see you. But it’s okay, we manage. I just want to be next to you, holding you. If I could choose, I would never let you out of my arms.

Have you guys ever felt out of place? Where it seems like everyone else is doing their own thing, has their own crowd, and are completely comfortable? And you’re there, feeling like an outsider. Feeling like you don’t belong, lost, and you just want to run away? You feel awkward because you don’t know what to do, and everyone else doesn’t seem to have that trouble. I hate that feeling.


I hate how you make me feel even worse about this so fuck you. Fuck life. Fuck routine. Fuck feeling like i'm wasting my life away. Fuck being this young and feeling like I have already died. Fuck the emptiness. Fuck anger. Fuck bitterness. Fuck reasons. Fuck not making any sense. And most importantly, fuck you. I hope you burn in hell.

Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you


I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hangin by a moment here with you


Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now


I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you



I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving in to
I'm hanging by a moment here with you


There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else...

You are awesome.
I love you.
You make me smile. (:
You + Me = Awesomeness
I want to hug you.

And you are back.

And the same song sounds in my mind...and it's like i'm halfway gone, and I can't move on. It's like halfway to meeting the devil in a wishing well.

Please stop flittering in and out of my life.

Ways To Relieve Stress

If it's something i've learnt this year, it's these ways to relieve stress: -

• Isolate yourself from the world, plug in your earphones and blast your music.
• Take a nap to shut down your emotions.
• Break things (not really recommended).
• Take a long shower and wash away all your thoughts in there.
• Run until your legs can't take you any further.
• Put on a I-don't-give-a-fuck mentality.

They work for me anyways.

So, in my bed is kinda where I wanna be with you right now.

I’m not saying just for sex. I don’t just need that.

I’m saying staying up reading kiddy books with you, not necessarily reading them but reminscing on how we used to love reading these over and over, especially the ones where you can feel the dog’s fur and the alligator’s scales.

I’m saying playing card games and boardgames. Watching you make the most adorable faces at me and sticking your tongue out everytime you win and me saying I just let you win everytime.

I’m saying making handshadows on the wall. Laying a flashlight on the floor and making our hand puppets.

I’m saying popping on some good music or listening to your iPod while we just lay there drawing pictures.

I’m saying finger food. Getting all the fruits, crackers, crisps and chocolate from the kitchen, blindfolding me, and telling me you’re going to feed me a strawberry and you put a lemon in my mouth.

I’m saying looking at pictures. Going through albums of when we were babies and what our parents looked like in school.

I’m saying star gazing. Opening the curtains and letting the moon be the only source of light in the room. Pointing out constellations and naming stars after one another.

I’m saying prank calls. Laying down next to each other, on our stomachs, looking through yellowpages and practicing our British / Indian / Asian accents before we dial the number.

I’m saying just relaxing. Snuggling next to each other, letting our bodies touch. Our chests glued to one another and our arms and legs are interlaced.

But that's just me.

Fred explains Time.

Veronica Mars

I love 'Veronica Mars'. Man was there some snarky goodness on that show. And it had Logan Echolls, *swoon*. Know what else it had? Dick Casablancas.

Ryan Hansen was so funny as Dick. Easily one of the best characters on the show. And he was hot in a douche bag kind of way. Who doesn’t like a douche every once in awhile? Stop pretending like there’s not some douche bag in your past that you kept secret from all of your friends. It’s happened to everyone. It’s okay to just admit it…or at least admit it to me.

I promise not to mock you…to your face.

Don't laugh because it's the Beach Boys.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn’t have to wait so long. Wouldn’t it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Only because you wouldn’t of understood even if you tried or only because I feel like I can’t trust you with how i’m feeling without another soul hearing about it. Only because I don’t feel like there's a need for anyone to know. Only because, you’re probably only curious and you don’t exactly care.

I can't wait...

...to wake up staring into your eyes, smiling with crazy butterflies fluttering in my tummy. To know we spent the night cuddling in bed, talking all throughout the night, with the occasional tickle attack and pillow fight - to the sweet talks and kisses. Just me and you. With nothing but each others company.

Today I am grateful for:

• Air Force One - Gary Oldman is one of my favourite actors, have I ever mentioned that? I mean did you SEE him in Air Force One? A thing of beauty. I haven’t got TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME for this Mickey Mouse bullshit.

• Extra wicked hot and sour soup that knocked the would-be killer virus on its butt.

Fail.

I really failed at making these two kiss. Figures.

 I never draw a kiss. This is why.

No honks, knocks, or phone calls
Just TV, radio, and four walls.
No complaints or any conversation;
Instead more time for medication.

No smiles, no hugs, and no kisses;
That is something no one misses.
No bill, or letters, no junk mail -
So I'm better off; what the Hell.

No one comes over while I'm home;
I'm here with myself, all alone.
No appointment or anyone to meet
But I am a King on Lonely Street.

Lately i've been wondering...

Who i'm above and who i'm below. Curious to know because your actions seem to point in different directions. But i'm scared of the answer. I feel like so many are above me. I don't want to feel like i'm an option but I do.