I don’t understand why tampon adverts always show girls on their period dancing and wearing white skirts and making out with someone and stuff.

Surely a more effective advertising campaign would be a bunch of girls in various states of misery.

Like, curled over in bed going "WHHHHY?!" and eating chocolate on the sofa and sobbing at the end of 'The Notebook' and getting angry at not being able to open a jar and crying when the cat doesn’t want to cuddle.

Followed by: ‘We understand. We’re sorry. Let us make it a little less awful.’

And the wrapping shouldn’t be like pink with polka dots, it should be dinosaurs stepping on buildings and stuff.