Sheer Abandon

She was crying now, out of control, hurting dreadfully. 'Go away, why don't you? Just go away and-'
'But - but what for?' His voice was genuinely bemused. 'What would be the point of that? We love being together. And I really do love you, Jocasta. It's very unfortunate for you that I'm an immature commitment-phobe. But I am maturing. There has to be hope. And meanwhile, why can't we go on as we are? Or - is there someone else? Is that what you're trying to tell me?'
'Of course not.' she said, sniffing, reaching for the handkerchief he was holding out to her. 'I wish there was.' She managed a half smile.
'Well, I don't. And there's certainly no one else for me. Never could be. Not after you.' He reached out tentatively, stroked her cheek. 'Please, Jocasta, give me just a little more time. I'll try very hard to do some growing up. I do want to, I promise.'
'Well-', she hesitated. He leant forward and started to kiss her; tenderly at first, then harder, his mouth working on hers. Against her will, against all common sense, something stirred deep, deep within her, something dark and soft and treacherous. He pushed his hand under her t-shirt, began encircling one of her nipples with his thumb. She shivered in anticipation, then pulled back from him; his eyes on hers were very bright, very tender.
'I meant it,' he said, 'I do love you. I'm sorry if I don't make it plain enough. Now - shall we go and lie down and recover?'
But all through the sex which followed, lovely and healing as it was, Nick gentle and tender, waiting for her a long, long time as she softened, sweetened under him, coaxing her body skilfully in the way he knew best, into a mounting, brightening pleasure; even as she felt her climax gather and grow and then spread out into starry, piercing release, she felt still wary, still hurt; and as she lay beside him, his hand tangling in her hair, his eyes smiling into hers, she knew however much he said he loved her, it was not enough.

- Penny Vincenzi

I'm one fifth of the way into this one hundred and seventy page novel about three women: Clio (who is locked in an unhappy marriage to a self-obsessed, arrogant surgeon), Martha (who gave birth and abandoned a baby in a cleaning cupboard at an airport without telling anyone she was even pregnant), and Jocasta (who's in love with a charming journalist); they're bonded by a secret that was made some fifteen / twenty years before when they all randomly met whilst travelling Asia and Australia.