I remember one of the "therapy" sessions that I had where my "therapist" asked me ten questions (in which I was obviously supposed to answer truthfully).

For some reason, they've popped into my mind again and I keep thinking about them (possibly because maybe I would answer differently know?).

The questions were (and i'm paraphrasing here since my memory is a little sketchy):
1. What is more difficult for you: looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
2. Think of the last time you were really angry. Why were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
3. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone / everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
4. You can have one of the following things: love or trust. Which do you choose and why?
5. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
6. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
7. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
8. Are you the kind of friend that you would want as a friend?
9. Does love equal sex?
10. When was the last time you honestly told someone how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

Most of these questions were really hard to answer, some of them were easy. Most of them were just pure bullshit and relate to nothing, in my opinion, to my situation.

Thinking of these questions, and how I answered, I think I would change some things. Maybe 'cause I think i've mellowed a lot since that time, maybe 'cause I feel more like Eliza, maybe 'cause i'm just giving up. I don't know. It's just frustrating me thinking about these damn questions and how i'd answer them now.

I don’t understand why tampon adverts always show girls on their period dancing and wearing white skirts and making out with someone and stuff.

Surely a more effective advertising campaign would be a bunch of girls in various states of misery.

Like, curled over in bed going "WHHHHY?!" and eating chocolate on the sofa and sobbing at the end of 'The Notebook' and getting angry at not being able to open a jar and crying when the cat doesn’t want to cuddle.

Followed by: ‘We understand. We’re sorry. Let us make it a little less awful.’

And the wrapping shouldn’t be like pink with polka dots, it should be dinosaurs stepping on buildings and stuff.

A List Of Thinkings I Should Remember

1. time heals
2. the sunrise is constant
3. salt water stings
4. i am worth all of it
5. driving calms
6. the music will never end
7. books finish (sometimes happily)
8. locked doors can be unlocked
9. trees produce oxygen
10. i produce carbon dioxide
11. stars die all the time
12. the sun burns

The injuries I cause myself...

Bad Karma, Bad Dream

Yesterday, I had a bad experience with a smear test -- yes, I know, i'm cursed with bad luck and bad karma. But last night I dreamed about it...more like a nightmare.

Basically, in my nightmare, the gynecologist told me that i'll not be able to ever have kids and Chris broke up with me for that fact and everyone basically treated me like I was an outcast...

UGH, WHY DO I DREAM SO MUCH?!

Black & White

I dislike people who think of everything as being black and white; the people who think it's either yes and no; the people who absolutely cannot comprehend that there might just be something other than "black" or "white" - like the fuzzy "grey" area in between for example. People, situations, relationships...are often not as straightforward as that, and narrow-minded people who can't see that bug me.

Do you know like we were saying, about the Earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it cause everything looks like it's standing still? I can feel it, the turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles per hour. The entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty-seven miles per hour. And I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world. And if we let go... That's who I am.