I legitimately do not understand the practice of men shouting and whistling at women when they drive by.

Do you expect us to run after your car screaming, "WAIT, COME BACK, I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"?

Don't bother commenting on this, Chris, I know your thoughts already!

Maybe I should accept those tablets the doctor keeps offering me. Maybe it's better to feel nothing at all.

I don't know anything any more.

I was waiting for your to ask about coming to get me yesterday...but you didn't, and then I was going to say something about it but you told me your mother wanted you to do all those chores and stuff, and I felt like you didn't have time for me...and that's kind of bummed me out now.

The doctor thinks I purposefully threw myself down the stairs. I'm not even shocked he thinks that, since he thinks I'm suicidal. But I don't even care what he thinks any more... I have the painkillers for my cracked scapula and I have all my results back from my tests so I don't ever have to see him again. When the time comes for my physical on the 30th, i'll request a different doctor.

Today sucks. Everything sucks.

Ugh.

Currently at work, at my desk with a cup of tea and sore throat, checking up on personal things rather than number crunching the twenty ski-plans I have on my desk. I dislike numbers.

So anyway, I read this quote [see below] and I think it's beautiful (in a slightly morose kind of way).

"The push and pull of human interaction is never equal. When one person wants more than another is willing or able to give, hearts don’t break, they shred. A broken heart shatters into a million pieces and gets swept away never to be used again. A shredded heart continues to be used in all of its limited, tattered capacity; a remnant of its former usefulness and beauty."

Jack, you have a wonderful way with words.

Apparently I attract drug dealers.

Do I really look like a coke head?!

Stupid black dude offering me some charlie two metres away from a police officer... then he decides to molest my cheek with his lips.

Gotta love Sheffield.

Sigh

Fuck with all this hard work.

Isn't it funny...

...how the simplest of sentences can crush you?

Consider me royally crushed.

I should have gone to work...

Hey, it's me again...doing nothing but complaining.

All dinner this evening my dad was picking out my imperfections and telling everyone what was wrong with me. I just said to him “cool story, bro” and got up and left. It was horrible.

Blah.

Last night was probably one of the worse night's out of my life. I guess I should have seen it coming... Feeling like a complete emotional wreck and drinking alcohol aren't exactly a match made in heaven. Shaunna and Paula were busy doing their thing as best friends and I was stuck looking after Nikki who was wasted on pills and alcohol - she ended up throwing up for forty five minutes. To top it off, for some reason or other, when Shaunna asked if I was ok, I burst out crying in the middle of the dance floor. That was pretty much the time Jase told me he was taking me home.

So much for blowing out...