The Mirror Has Two Faces

As I stood at the altar beside my sister and her husband-to-be, it struck me that this “ritual” called a wedding ceremony is really just the final scene of a fairytale.

Nobody ever tells you what happens after the ritual though.

Nobody ever tells you that Cinderella drove Prince Philip crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle (because she missed her day job, right?).

Nobody ever tells you what happens after because...there is no after.

The be-all and end-all of romantic love was/is marriage. Marriage, that's right.

But it wasn't always like that...

Around the 12th century there was a notion called courtly love where love had nothing to do with marriage and nothing to do with sex. In most cases it was defined as a passionate relationship between a knight and a lady of the court who was already married; and so they could never consummate their love. They would have to rise above your ordinary (you know, going to the bathroom in front of each other kind of love) and find something more divine. They took sex out of the equation and what was left was a union of souls.

Now think of this: sex was always the fatal love potion.

Look at the literature: 'Lancelot and Guinevere', 'Tristan and Isolde' (for examples) - all consummation could lead to was madness, despair, or death!

Clinical experts, scholars, and my Aunt Esther are united in the belief that true love has spiritual dimensions while romantic love is nothing but a lie...an illusion...modern myth...a soulless manipulation.

Speaking of manipulation...

It's like going to the movies to see a romance film, when we see the lovers on screen kiss, the music swells, and we like it, right? So that makes you think when my date takes you home and kisses you goodnight, if I don't hear the philharmonic in my head, you dump him!

Now the question is: why do we buy it?

We buy it because whether it's a myth or a manipulation, let's face it: we all want to fall in love.

Why?

Because that experience makes us feel completely alive! Where every sense is heightened, every emotion magnified, where our everyday reality is shattered and flung into the heavens!

It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon...but it doesn't diminish its value because we're left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.

I read an article a while ago that says when we fall in love we hear Puccini in our heads. I love that. I think it's because his music fully expresses our longing for passion in our lives and romantic love. And while we listen to La Boheme or read 'Wuthering Heights' or watch 'Casa Blanca'...a little bit of that love lives in us too.

So the final question is: why do people want to fall in love when it can have such short shelf life and be devastatingly painful?

It leads to the propagation of the species? Psychologically, we need to connect to somebody? Because we're culturally pre-conditioned? Good answers but much too intellectual for me.

I think it's because, as some of you already may know, while you have it...it feels fucking great!

Sad Songs For A Sad Day

"Sad songs for a sad day" as compiled by Helena and I:-

• Remembering Sunday - All Time Low
• Million Dollar Houses - Pierce the Veil
• Teen Idle - Marina and the Diamonds
• Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade
• I'm Not Missing You - Amely
• Hold On Til May - Pierce the Veil
• Never Saw It Coming - Tigers Jaw
• Intensity In Ten Cities - Chiodos
• Fix You - Coldplay
• When You Can't Sleep At Night - Of Mice and Men
• If It Means A Lot To You - ADTR
• Goodnight Moon - Go Radio
• Miles Away - Memphis May Fire
• Andria - La Dispute
• Stay Away From My Friends - Pierce the Veil

Sliding Doors

Have you ever had one of those moments where something is just relevant to how you're feeling, a situation in your life, or even just your personality?

I watched 'Sliding Doors' last night.

Relevant to my life in that I feel like I am living two separate lives: one happy and one sad.

Maybe there is some truth to star-signs and all that jazz? It is said that a Gemini lives two lives at that same time that coincide with each other at random points. Same girl, different decisions.

The story goes a little something like this:

Both halves of the Gemini get fired.

One misses the train home, gets mugged, her boyfriend cheers her up, she works part time jobs as a sandwich delivery guy to support her boyfriend's novel-writing-career, gets pregnant, discovers her boyfriend is cheating on her and as she runs away she falls down a flight of stairs and ends up losing the baby.

At the same time...

The other half catches the train, meets a handsome stranger, discovers her boyfriend is cheating on her and leaves him, builds up a PR company, dates the handsome stranger and becomes pregnant but shortly after telling the stranger the good news she is ran over by a car and loses the baby.

In the hospital, the first half survives but the second half dies.

The cheating boyfriend is elated and the handsome stranger is heartbroken.

Their lives merge into one again.

The Gemini, in her hospital bed, tells her cheating boyfriend to leave. She is then discharged and takes an elevator to the ground floor where she meets the handsome stranger.

Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap

I'm not stuck on Temper Trap just like the lyrics to this song, everything else is crap...

A moment, a love, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs, a moment, a love, a dream aloud...

Note To Self

I shouldn't listen to this song:

Stone Sour - Made of Scars

Happy!

“When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - When Harry Met Sally (1989)


I can't wait for the rest of my life to start. :)

Currently at Em's at the moment, thought i'd drop by hers for a cup of tea after work. Caught her at a good time actually, she was sorting through all her old music. And when I say 'old', i'm talking 90's. I love the fact that she has all the Savage Garden albums, and listening to the 1997 record brought back a lot of memories! Feeling very nostalgic at the moment. Might go rooting through her oldies to see what else she has. :)

Trampoline - Never Shout Never

I love this song. Or rather I love the memory that goes along with the song. Every time I hear it I always picture Zakk singing it to Summer in the locker room of RVRC after they had a barmy arguement. It was so sweet. Those two are soulmates, I swear, and I hope they find themselves back together. <3

And who would’ve thought that a cutie pie just like you,
would have anything to do with a smelly dude like me?
I find it hard to believe.
And who would’ve thought that you ever would’ve kissed my cheek,
in your backyard on your trampoline that night?
I never put up a fight.

And I know you’re all shook up from a terrible relationship,
he broke your heart, he tore you into pieces,
but I promise you, dear, I’ll never touch you like he did.
So, baby, please take my hand and you’ll never be alone again.

It's just after 1am, i'm listening to Dear Juliet, and Carmen has finally dropped off to sleep, probably worn out after asking me a million and one questions about random things in my bedroom - gotta love kids.

I can't sleep, and Chris is ill and sleeping so I can't talk to him (I miss him loads); Jase is also not answering his mobile, but I think he's working, ooops; so i'm on MSN (not that I go on that often these days) with Em, we're trading music 'cause she's awesome like that.

I will eventually try and get some sleep...at sometime around 3am, that's probably when i'll get tired, I hope. For now, it's cup of tea time.

Night night, world.

P.S. This house is a fucking prison on planet bullshit in the galaxy of this sucks camel dick.

Yes, i'm a fan of the Kracker.

Sometimes I feel like something is gone here.
Something is wrong here, I don’t belong here.
Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town.
And i’ve lost what I found, it’ll all turn around.

In a little while i’ll be thinkin’ about you.
In a little while i’ll still be here without you.
In a little while i’ll be thinkin’ about you, baby...i’ll be thinkin’ about you, baby.

Favourite Yeah Yeah Yeahs song?

“Warrior” changed my life and made me comfortable being myself.
“Maps” has been there for me forever.
“Mystery Girl” has always been my party song.
“Cold Light” taught me how to rock a private concert in my shower.

Pierce The Veil - Caraphernelia

Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night (but there's just something about you).

This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy, licking your fingers like you're done and, you decided there is so much more than me.

And baby honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake, I brought a gun in as the preacher tried to stop me, hold my heart it's beating for you anyway.

What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, i'll be the fire that will catch you. What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colours ever light up anymore in this hole.

Nobody prays for the heartless. Nobody gives another penny for the selfish, you're learning how to taste what you kill now.

Don't mind me, i'm just reaching for your necklace. Talkin' to my mama 'bout this little girl from Texas.

What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, i'll be the fire that will catch you.

What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colours ever light up anymore in this hole. Just give her back to me, you know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.

So baby what if I can't forget you? (What if I can't forget you?) Am I invisible ink, like a shadow on the wall, just go, oh no. You can't just throw me away.

So what if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat. I'll be the fire that'll catch you. And what's so good about picking up the pieces? What if I don't even want to?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, i'll be the fire that'll catch you.

What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colours ever light up anymore in this hole.

Just give her back to me, you know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need. So baby what if I can't forget you (what if I can't forget you)?

What's so good about picking up the pieces? What's so good about? What's so good about? What's so good about picking up the pieces?

Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE CANNIBAL QUEEN<3

Screaming Lights

One of best non-mainstream bands ever.

20grams, please.

Have you ever seen that film with Sean Penn, Benecio Del Toro and Naomi Watts? No? Well, you didn’t miss much. Basically what you missed is that when you die you instantly lose twenty grams. Maybe that’s what your soul weighs. Who knows?

Things I Love

Dancing with wild abandon with a group of girlfriends, a lover or by myself; the process of learning something new; lemon cupcakes; Jesse Lacey's voice, no matter the song; photo sun flares (these are magical to me, almost like i captured an otherwise invisible spirit); planning a trip; every single thing about autumn; Disney classics (espesh: Lady and The Tramp); stargazing; pancakes; riding the odd animal on the carousel...like the rooster or the ostrich or the giant goat; how walking in a bookstore or library makes me feel instantly smarter; thunderstorms; stories read aloud; my bed; ginger ale with crushed ice.